Thursday, October 11, 2012

Thanksgiving Challenge #11: "I get by...


...With a little help from my friends." ~The Beatles


I can be a pretty complicated person.

My mind works a little differently than most people.  So does my heart. And often, the two don't quite sync up the way that they're supposed to, leaving me at odds both with myself and with society in general.

For better or for worse, I've always felt a little removed from the world even when I'm right smack in the centre of a huge group of people.  I'm usually pretty good at faking it and pretending that I'm 100% comfortable standing amidst the crowd...but most of my time is spent looking for an exit strategy.

If this sounds a little bit like you, you might be an introvert too.

I get a lot of shock and surprise when I tell people that I am an INTJ. They somehow seem to think that just because I'm "good" with people and able to comfortably lead a crowd that this is fulfilling for me or even a dominant personality trait.  The truth is that I genuinely prefer to spend time alone, or in the company of other generally introverted people.

In my home, my husband, my mom and I are all INTJs.  Given that only about 1-4% of the population would fit this personality type that's actually quite surprising. And yet, in many ways, it's totally inevitable. Introverts tend to flock together.

Which brings me to my "thankful" topic of the day.

I am so lucky to be surrounded by friends and people who "get" me.

I spent most of my young life trying my very best to fit it. I dreamt of being a chameleon who could easily blend in with any group and any dynamic. I fantasized about what it would be like to be one of those 'easily liked' people who seemed to float through life without a care in the world.

I've also always known that I'm a polarizing figure. As loved as I am, I am often equally hated.  This is ok by me. I really have never felt the need for a lot of friends, and being loved by a few beats out being liked by many.

But this is the first time in my entire life where I can say that I feel 100% comfortable being who I am with the people that I love.

I love that I can tell them "I just need a few days to disappear" and they "get" it. I love that I can ask for emotional support because I have to brave West Edmonton Mall and go into the horrible, colourful, hugely overwhelming Disney Store.

For better or for worse, I'm surrounded by people who seem to understand how my brain works. And if they don't, then they're happy enough to pretend that they do and that’s just as good.

Being "just me" is a great feeling. I'm looking forward to the next two thirds of my life being spent that way.


Word Count: 498


This is post is part of the October Thanksgiving Challenge. I will post a new Thank You blog post every day during the month of October. I encourage you to follow Kevin, the mastermind of this challenge at www.kevinolenick.wordpress.com and fellow blogger Natasha at www.naturalurbanmamas.com. And, if you're up to it, consider doing your own challenge, big or small, to remind yourself to focus on the many blessings in your life.  I've also added a slight 'writing' component to this month's challenge: No posts are to exceed 500 words.  



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